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So I bent over (leaving my legs mostly extended, but separated) to pick up the bathing suit, which put my pussy and ass within inches of his face. I took my time grabbing the bathing suit and watched him in the mirror as he leaned even closer to study my pussy, to the point I was a little worried he might bump into me. I picked up the bathing suit and put it back on its hanger, and then turned toward Ben with the new one. As I turned toward him I watched him start to squint again and stop squeezing his dick. I asked "your eyes are still closed, right?" He nodded yes as I could tell he was still looking at me up and down. I said "good... I still can't believe my tits popped out like that earlier, I hope I didn't embarrass you". He smiled while squinting at my hard nipples and he said "I hope you weren't embarrassed, I just felt lucky". I fumbled with the bikini while still standing in front of him nude and said "I guess it's not a big deal, I'm sure you've seen plenty of boobs. The only difference is that I didn't hide it from anybody.My ego was completely shattered. I felt emotionally naked, but Iaccepted it as my penance for disappointing Cynthia and ruining myengagement. I existed.What everyone saw was what I was. I just couldn't be bothered to hideanymore. I still missed Cynthia for some reason, and couldn't hate herfor what she did to me. I had really done it to myself. If I was honestwith myself, I still loved her. In a strange way, I internalized herhumiliation of me and began to own who I was, and what I had wroughtwith my omission of the truth about myself.I suppose what everybody saw was a slight man, with longish styled hair,plucked eyebrows and obvious but subtle makeup. Some people made rudecomments, and some people accepted me. I took the good with the bad,defended myself when necessary, and just tried to be honest witheveryone. I had already lost everything that could be taken from me atleast in a personal sense, and I had no misplaced male.
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